Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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