This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
