You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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