Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
