So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
