A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
