You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
