I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
