I got chris browned last night
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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