i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
