Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What a dumb baby whore.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
