Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
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