i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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