i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
someone threw a dead crab at me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
