Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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