Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I could make wine with my vomit
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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