I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
