Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
