Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
