So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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