THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
