on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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