I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
nutella sex= disaster
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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