I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
