Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize