Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
