If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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