Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
