he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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