Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
