Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
