This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
