Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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