Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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