So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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