he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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