I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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