So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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