id be glad to
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
