im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
