I forgot how hot balto sounded
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
