I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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