so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
