Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im holly from the hills drunk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
pop tarts are not kleenex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
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