I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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