the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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