Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
