Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
