i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
