Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
