totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
