I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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