I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
